Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Something that may someday be used somewhere.

The following is a quick passage that I wrote a while ago that I'm not sure what to do with yet. When I started it was going to be a voice-over piece in a possible film/play/tv show. Then after a while I adapted it to potentially be the introduction to a short story. And now it just sort of is.
So I'm putting it here so that it can at least look like it fulfils some sort of purpose. It's just a short passage that doesn't go anywhere and doesn't do anything other than introduce some one-note character, that I'm still too fond of to delete (I have far too many things like this). Enjoy.

Harry was a professional arguer. At least he would be if such a profession existed. That's what he claimed anyway. I tried to explain to him once that both "politician" and "lawyer" would technically fit under the heading "professional arguer" but he argued against it so passionately that I had to give in. Then I reflected back on the conversation and made the same observation I had started with and the whole thing began again.

The real reason he could never use his skill for arguing in a useful manner was that he would never argue about anything important. The more irrelevant a topic was; the stronger his argument would be. And please note that I do not say "debate". Harry never debated. Harry argued. Violently and explosively. If his opponent wasn't left physically exhausted, then Harry wasn't finished yet. I once went at it with him for two hours, only for it to turn out that we'd both been trying to make the same point. The instant this realisation struck us Harry changed his point of view, just so we could carry on.

Why did he do it? I'll never know. Maybe he got a rush from verbally attacking peoples beliefs in irrelevant topics. Maybe he legitimately wanted to show people the other side of every story. Maybe it was just the only thing he was good at.

Why did I join in with him? Hell, what else did I have to do?

Friday, 7 September 2012

What I did on my Summer Holidays, by Nicholas Withers. Age 22.

This is a short video I made to show off my holiday in La Herradura, Spain. I decided that normal holiday videos weren't dramatic enough and I wanted to do something overly pretentious and put an Einaudi track over it.

Thursday, 22 March 2012

The 7 Worst Things About Being Unemployed

Because I enjoy whining over writing things with any substance this article isn't about making any political or socio-economical points. It's purely about things that are annoying me right now. Because I'm a fan of Cracked, and kind of a hack, it's also in list form.

The 7 things that are currently most annoying me about not having a job are:

Thursday, 8 March 2012

A Point Of Grammar.

Basic Tenses:

I sat = Past tense
I am sitting = Present tense

I'm sat = WRONG!


Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Untitled Short Story

You know the feeling when the instant you wake up you're already somehow aware that something's wrong? I'm talking about the very split second you wake. Before you've opened your eyes. Before you've rolled over. Before you even know that you're awake; you know that something is wrong. It's a feeling that must come to you while you're still asleep; must infect your dreams in some way that lets you know, like a private air raid siren, that when you wake up something just won't be right.

This is the feeling I have right now.

Decisions Decisions

This picture asked the question "Which would you pick", allowing you to choose two fictional items from a list that includes:
Portal Gun (Portal)
Elder Wand (Harry Potter)
Lightsaber (Star Wars)
The One Ring (Lord Of The Rings)
Deathnote (Deathnote)
Green Lantern Power Ring (Green Lantern)
Everlasting Gobstopper (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
The Red Pill (The Matrix)
Cursed Pirate Medallion (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Pokeball (Pokemon)

There were conditions brought up (ie. With Pokeball you would only have one pokemon of your choice that you would have to train from level one, with Pirate Medallion there is no chest to return it to, with One Ring Sauron and his minions do not exist and are not hunting you etc.) which can all be seen by following the link above. 

I instantly decided I would take the Portal Gun, because that would be awesome. But then I was stumped. I ruled out Pirate Medallion (because who wants to be cursed?), One Ring (because who wants to be corrupted?) Red Pill (because who wants to live in a dystopian world where you are always at risk of being killed by robots?), Everlasting Gobstopper (because it looked pointy and would hurt the roof of your mouth as you suck on it forever) and Deathnote (because I don't know what it is), and then (reluctantly) crossed off lightsaber because I simply don't think I'd have much use for it in real life once the novelty wore off. That then left me with three options to choose between. Three fictional items of extraordinary power. How can I make this decision?

With a Pros and Cons list of course!


If have Charizard, can fly on its back.
Can burn enemies.
Can use ghost pokemon to scare people.
Mr Mime good at housework – useful.
Jigglypuff would ensure a good nights sleep every night.

No evidence that anyone else has Pokemon. How do you train them up?
Dog fighting illegal.
Don’t have enemies.
Knowledge of Pokemon limited to original 150. Might not make best decision.
If picked something silly like Alakazam, would quickly run out of useable spoons.
Opening myself up to more decisions. Would always be questioning whether I chose the right Pokemon.

Green Lantern Ring

Can produce pretty much anything.
Can fly.
Can go in to space.

Would forget to charge it up. Would probably run out of power while in space.
Foiled by anything yellow.
Silly skintight suit.
Green ring's a bit gay.

Elder Wand

Easy to find things (Accio Car Keys!)
Can fly (Wingardium Leviosa)
Even if summoning keys doesn’t work, can open locks anyway (Alohamora)
Can duel with enemies.

Don’t have enemies.
Might be murdered for it.
Easy to break.
Can’t remember any more spells.