Monday, 23 August 2010

The Mad Men Drinking Game

Ah Mad Men. The best show currently on TV (now that Lost is over). It's exciting, it's dramatic, it's beautiful and it makes you want to drink and smoke all day so you can be like the cool kids.

So why not start while watching?

You will need:

1 x bottle of your preferred whisky (preferably scotch or, if you wish to enjoy the authentic Don Draper experience, rye).
1/2 x bottle of your preferred vodka.
1 x bottle of red wine.
2 x packets of cigarettes (give or take, depending on how good a chain-smoker you are).
1 x rather suave suit.

Put on the suit, pour your first drink and light your first cigarette. You are now ready to play the Mad Men drinking game.

Cigarettes must be smoked continuously throughout the program until you can no longer see the screen through the haze of smoke. Spirits must be drunk straight, over ice

  • Every time a character drinks, you drink. Try and match what you're drinking to what the character is drinking for bonus points (drink whisky when they have a whisky-based cocktail, Vodka for martinis and wine for whatever a woman is drinking). If they down the drink, you down the drink.

  • Every time Don Draper stares at someone silently for what would be an unusual amount of time in real life: drink whisky.

  • Every time a character has sex/goes off screen to have sex: drink.

  • If one of the individuals engaging in said sex is doing so whilst currently in a relationship with another character: finish the drink.

  • Every time something condescending/offensive is said to/about a woman/black person: drink.

  • Every time Roger Stirling has some inappropriate/hilarious one-liner (basically whenever he says anything): down a vodka.

  • Any time Pete acts in a way that makes you wonder why no-one's punched him in the face yet: drink.

  • Any time Harry does something clumsy/stupid: drink.

  • Any time Don Draper does something outrageously cool that makes you wish you were just a little bit more like him: down a whisky.

  • Any time Betty Draper does something that makes you question her sanity: drink wine.

  • Any time Betty Draper abuses one of her children: down the wine.

  • Any time Don Draper has a nap at work: drink until he wakes up.

  • Any time there is a sudden gory moment that is otherwise unexpected in a show like this: down the whisky, then the vodka, then drink some wine, then down another whisky. For the sake of whoever just got mutilated...

  • Any time someone mentions a holiday: drink.

  • Any time anyone does anything that would be considered inappropriate and/or shocking in modern society: drink.

  • Any time a character who was a big part of one or two episodes in the past before disappearing completely suddenly shows up again: celebrate their return with a drink.

More rules when I think of them. Play the game right and your lungs and liver will be just as bad as every character's on the show.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks to ColdDuckButter on reddit ( for discovering this stupid game that I came up with a couple of years ago and sharing among the reddit community.

    Also thanks to DirtPile for my favourite comment so far: "Three minutes into any episode, you will be dead. This is retarded."

    Agreed, sir.